All Time Low
by Property of an Insane Asylum
Summary: It has been 90 years since Edward left Bella. Now that she has become the exact thing he left to protect her from, how will he react? Will he recognize her? What happens when your whole life comes crashing down to an all time low? T for safety
1. First Day

**Ok , this is my first fanfic , and I really hope you like it . I uploaded chapter 2 right away so after that , review , please ! ((Not begging , just want to know if you like it ;]))**

**DISCLAIMER : Now , imagine Alice standing over there yelling , "SYDNEY DOESN'T OWN TWILIGHT !!" Clear enough ? Ok , let's roll x]**

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_*flashback*_

_The wind whipped at her fire red hair, the rain hardly affecting it. Her foot came down on my leg…hard. I screamed in pain-she seemed to enjoy that. _

_I was already bleeding from my head, my hands, and now my leg. I couldn't understand how she was controlling her thirst-it must be burning her throat._

_That's when I saw the gleam in her eyes, and she pounced. _

_Victoria's teeth sunk into my throat and all of a sudden there was fire everywhere. I couldn't see straight. _

_Then I heard growling. It was coming from behind me. That's when I saw the source. It was a huge, russet-colored…wolf? But wolves didn't get that big! It fought off Victoria easily…but it was too late to save me-it seemed to know that. The wolf looked at me with the saddest eyes I'd ever seen, and ran away._

_The fire burned for three more days until I finally opened my eyes. _

_That's when I knew what I was. One word came to mind:_

_Vampire._

_*end flashback*_

That was 90 years ago. Ever since then I've been moving from place to place, but I never really felt at home outside of Forks-the only place that had a connection to Edw- _him_.

Ever since I was changed, I've kept to myself. I do go to school, but I never made ties to anyone. I was constantly being nicknamed as: "That emo girl", "Dead Barbie", "Zombie", and even one ironic nickname, "Vampire chic."

At least no one bothered me.

Today, I was back in Forks. It was the first time in 90 years. When I first got back here, it ripped the hole in my chest wide open. The pain is still lingering. Oh well, I'm used to it.

For school today, I'm wearing a black tank top with a see-through red sweater on top. The sweater had rips and paint splatters all over it. I was wearing red skinny jeans that had chains on them, and showed off the muscles in my legs. My shoes were boots with silver buckles on the backs. From Hot Topic, my favorite store-I'm surprised it's still open.

I have heavy black eyeliner and light purple eye shadow on. My lips have a clear gloss on them. My hair is so black that it looks purple. There are light blue streaks in it; they're only temporary though, should I ever want to take them out. I doubt it, though.

Nothing like how I looked when I was human. I always took this precaution just in case I ran into the Cull- them again.

As I get into my black Ferrari, I realize how much I truly missed it here. I should have come back sooner.

I walk into the attendance office and there's an older woman at the desk. "Hi, I'm Madison Greene. I'm new here." I say using my false name. I haven't gone by my real name-Bella Swan-in ages.

"Oh, yes, here's your, uhmm, schedule. Have this s-slip signed by all y-your teachers and bring it back here at the end of the d-day." Bewildered by my appearance, of course. I flashed her the most intimidating smile I could.

"Thank you, very much," I said sarcastically.

I stalked off to first period English.

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**EPOV**

Forks.

The last place I ever saw my Bella. My angel.

It's been 90 years since we were last here, and we were going to have to return sooner or later.

I walk into my old room. It's exactly the same as it was when we left, when I left _her_.

I walk to the middle of my room, sink to my knees, and then onto my side. I just lay there in a ball all night.

_EDWARD!! GET DOWN HERE THIS INSTANT! YOU'RE GOING TO SCHOOL AND YOU'RE GOING TO LIKE IT!_

God, did Alice ever shut up about that?! I growled and she accepted that as me agreeing to go. I didn't agree. Not one bit. But I knew I had to. I hadn't been to school since we left here 90 years ago. It was about time I went back. No matter how much pain it caused me.

I got dressed and then we all piled into my new car. The Volvo was too outdated. This was the new Volvo Z300; silver of course. It reminded me of her-that's why I kept getting pretty much the same car in the same color. For my Bella.

When we got to school we walked to the attendance office. Only Alice walked in, but she got all our schedules and the slip we each needed to get signed by all our teachers and bring back at the end of the day. Joy.

I didn't have any classes with any of my siblings other than lunch. Terrific.

Boy, I was heavy on the sarcasm these days, wasn't I? Whatever.

I stalked off to first period math.

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**Cyber cookies and cupcakes to my first reviewer ! Tell me what you think . I don't know if I did Edward's POV justice so .. tell me what you think ;]**


	2. In Common

**Ok .. chapter 2 !! I'll have chapter 3 up as soon as I get ONE review ! NO I am not holding these chapters hostage .. I don't even have chap3 written yet . I meant that I will start writing as soon as I get ONE review ;]**

**DISCLAIMER : I , unfortunatly , am not Stephenie Meyer . I do , however , own Twilight , New Moon , Eclipse , and Breaking Dawn . They are sitting on my bookshelf . ((except for Eclipse and Breaking Dawn 'cause I'm reading Eclipse and Breaking Dawn is still in my carry-on from when I went to Cali last week :] ))**

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BPOV

As I made my way to English every single guy stared at me. They all whispered to their friends something about me being "hot". The girls all stared at me and whispered some approximation of "Ohmigawsh! Look at that emo girl. She is soo weird. She probably thinks she's better than us. Yeah, right."

Just goes to show, girls have more depth, but both genders are equally idiotic.

Judging by the stares and whispers, I wasn't the only new kid today. I also wasn't the only one with pale skin.

That's when I smelled one of them. I wasn't sure which one, all I knew was that they were vampires, and they were vegetarians.

_Shit, _Was my only thought. All of a sudden, I wanted to run from here so badly. But I'll be damned-no pun intended-if I let them drive me from the place that I want to be.

So I stayed.

My second period class was Calculus. I never cared for it as a human, and I don't care for it now. Turns out, Emmett was in my class. He hadn't changed at all. But I had. I didn't look the same; I didn't act the same. Nothing about me was the same as my former self. The self that he knew. That all the Cullens knew. I had changed, so hopefully they wouldn't recognize me.

If they did, they would leave. I just knew it.

Emmett turned to me and I guess he caught my scent or something, because he looked me in the eyes and said, "Who _are_ you?"

I smiled in such a way, it would have made a grown man quiver on his feet. But, a vampire, no such luck. "I'm Madison. I just started here, but then again, so have you. What's your name?"

"Emmett."

"Well, Emmett, I guess we have some common ground." I looked right into his eyes, gave my warmest, fakest smile, and he practically melted on the spot. It was hilarious. He didn't have any time to respond because just then, Mr. Carbon, the teacher, began his lecture.

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**EPOV**

The first half of the day was inconsequential. Apparently there was another new student, other than us. According to the male population, she was hot - creepy, but ho

The females were all jealous of her-and angry. How could anyone that pretty be emo? If _they_ were that pretty, they thought, they would never even consider being dark and depressed.

I don't even know why I cared so much. Curiosity? Well, whatever it was, it didn't really matter.

At lunch, my family and I were seated at a table in the back corner of the cafeteria. A place where we shouldn't be noticed, yet all eyes were on us anyways.

_Damn humans,_ I thought to myself. Suddenly, Alice had a vision.

_**Edward…happy? With who? And then I see her. Bella. His Bella. But how? She was dead. In the meadow. The one where she saw him in the sunlight. The one where he told her he loved her. **_

**(A/N: Alice's visions are in bold/indent)**

And then it ended. How could Alice have been seeing the past? This wasn't a memory. This was strictly a vision! So how…

I never finished the thought, because right then, the new girl walked in. and she was gorgeous. Or at least as gorgeous as someone heavily clad in a horror movie outfit could be. I caught her eye for a moment, and I saw something there. Longing? Pain? Sorrow?

I couldn't put my finger on it. So I tried to read her mind to know what it was. But I couldn't. I turned back to my family in frustration. What did it matter? Even if she could thwart my abilities, she still wasn't Bella.

I saw her sit down the same time I caught her scent.

_Freesias._ A scent that was so glorious, it could only belong to my love. I turned to her fully prepared to embrace her and beg forgiveness, when I realized, it wasn't her. Not my Bella? How is that possible?

"Hi, my name is Madison. I met your brother during second period, and like I told him, I believe we have something in common."

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**Nice cliffy , huh ? So , one review . That's all . Hopefully I'll have it up Monday or Tuesday . Review or not . But a review would still be nice ;]**


	3. Biology

**Ok, I got three reviews already, and I wasn't even expecting one. Very pleasing!! So I'll give you a treat and update this now!! But this is the only time I'm going to be this generous since I didn't have this chapter written yet. If I have chapters written then I won't hold them for reviews, but this is a bit of a celebratory chapter for me :] Thanks for those who review!!**

**Disclaimer : I don't own Twilight. Sadly , that's Stephenie Meyer. I know, disappointing, right?**

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RECAP FOR YOU!!

"_Hi, my name is Madison, and I believe we have something in common."_

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**BPOV**

"Like you all, I'm a v-vampire. I'm also new here today, so I guess that's two things in common," I flashed them a very cheery, yet very fake, smile.

"Hi Madison. I'm Alice, this is Jasper, that's Emmett and Rosalie, and that's Edward," She said, pointing to each of them in turn.

"Nice to meet you all. I already met Emmett. He's in my Calculus class."

"Oh, umm, yeah…" He mumbled.

Rosalie looked at me and gave a smile. She was still stunning. "I'm Rosalie."

"Pleasure to meet you," I said, my voice getting less enthusiastic as I realized that these were the same people that left me 90 years ago. "And you must be Edward," I said. It hurt saying his name. I had anticipated that, so it didn't seem to hurt as much. Then I saw the look in his eyes.

The only way to describe it was, well, he looked…dead. Like something was missing. I wonder what that could be? Could it possibly be that he had missed me, too? No, it had to be something else.

He didn't even bother answering. He looked like someone had punched him in the gut. Then I realized I still smelled the same. He must just be remembering the way he had successfully destroyed me. Well, not me. He destroyed Bella. I wasn't Bella anymore.

But he made me think that I could be, just one more time.

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**EPOV**

She was looking at me with eyes that were somewhat…hopeful? She also looked heartbroken. I tried to compose myself. After all, if she was truly depressed as her exterior suggested, than I surely wasn't helping that.

I took one more breath and her scent hit me once again. I felt like I had been punched in the gut. I was still looking at her and she seemed to get more upset as I did. Huh. Coincidence? Probably.

We all sat there for the next twenty minutes staring off into different directions. When the bell rang I stalked off to my next class.

Biology. Ironic, huh?

I was one of the first in the room. The teacher, Mr. Berton, signed my slip and pointed me to an empty desk in the middle of the room. The same one I sat at 90 years ago. With my Bella. I had to stifle a sob. I missed her so much...

Right then, she walked in. her scent hit me just as hard as Bella's had when she walked into this very classroom 90 years ago. It was just getting more ironic by the minute. Then she came and sat down next to me. "Excuse me, but this is my desk," I said. I didn't like to be rude to a lady, but I just wasn't in the mood to be kind.

"Excuse me, but Mr. Berton _just_ told me to sit here, so if you don't mind...?" She trailed off and made the sentence sound like a question.

I just rolled my eyes and sighed. I guess it was still a free country. She could do whatever the hell she wanted. Being rude wasn't going to bring Bella back. God, I was such an idiot!

She stared at me like I was crazy.

This was going to be a long hour.

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**Hope you enjoyed your little present! Hmm…happy…FLAG DAY! I checked my calendar, and it's on Sunday, so here's an early Flag Day present. Review as you choose! Just click that little button down there and…well…do your thing!**

**Cyber…POPCORN to anyone who reviews!!! Who doesn't like popcorn? Even if you have braces it's still a nice treat. ((If you don't like popcorn you can have some cyber ice cream :]))**

**WITH LUV ,**

***~SYDSYD~***


	4. Invitation

**Wow , gosh , honestly , I'm SO sorry about how long this took to post ! I went to Delaware , then camp , and well .. Ughh , excuses , excuses . I'm really sorry guys !! Well , here we go .. Oh by the way .. PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE review ! I've had 147 hits and FOUR reviews !! Come on , you guys can do better than that !! Ok , so .. Let's do this !**

**Disclaimer : I am Stephenie Meyer , and I own the entire _Twilight_ saga and _The Host_ . PSYCHE ! :]**

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**BPOV**

For the past 90 years, I've been wandering America with no true purpose. Simply finding place after place to live, with no intentions of ever returning to the only place that I can ever really consider my home. The place where I lived out the best...what was it? 8 months? Yeah, the best 8 months of my life. It never should have ended. But I guess fate had different plans. Or maybe it was just that he had different plans. I miss everything about him...his kiss, his touch, that beautiful crooked smile...STOP!! I have to stop thinking about him. Having to see him every day is pain enough. I shouldn't have stayed. I should have left right after I saw them here. I'm so stupid.

I arrive at school. The first half of the day goes by in a blur. I make no move to talk to Emmett during Calculus, as he made no move to talk to me. Or at least I don't think he did. Oh well. I get to the lunch room and sit at a table all the way across the room from them. It's not that I don't want to sit with them it's just that-Okay, it's that I don't want to sit with them. It just hurts too much. Seeing them all laughing and talking. Going about their lives as though Bella Swan had never existed. Had never even been there in the first place. GOD! I hate them so much.

And yet...I missed Alice. My pixie-like best friend, almost sister. I missed Jasper, though I never talked to him much, he was still great to be around. If only for his abilities. I missed Emmett, the giant teddy bear, the big brother I had never had. I even missed Rosalie. She seemed much warmer to me now that she had no idea who I was. NOw that I wasn't causing her family any impending danger. But most of all, I missed him. He was literally an angel straight out of heavan.

I wondered why he always looked so upset, so tormented. He's probably getting over some other random human girl. I wish I could've warned her. Whatever, I don't care that much if she's willing to be as stupid as I was to fall for it.

I hear light footsteps. Almost like a dancer's. Too silent to be human. I realize too late that it's Alice. "Hi, Madison. I noticed you sitting over here, and I was wondering why you weren't sitting with us..? Or if it's not my business-"

"No, Alice," I cut her off, "it's just that well...you all remind me of the family, or almost family, as it was, that I had when I was human. They hurt me. Real bad. They left me without even a goodbye. To this day I still wonder if what happenned to me would have turned out differently if they had stayed." She stared at me with a very sympathetic, even hurt, expression. "Oh, sorry, I have quite a bit of skeletons in my closet, and if I'm laying them on a little too fast, I apologize, it's just how I am. I tend to jump ahead of myself." I gave her a smile only a vampire could pull off.

"Oh no, it's just-well, some time ago...My very best friend...I had to leave her. All part of some thing my brother, Edward, managed to accomplish. He almost exposed our secret, so we had to leave. To this day, I can't help wondering what happenned to her," She eyed me suspiciously. Had I been found out?! No, it was too soon for that. She was probably just wondering who I was that I shared almost the same experience as her, just turned around. I had been the victim in my situation. "Mind if I sit?"

"No, go ahead," We sat in silence for a little while.

"Hey, Madison?"

"Hmm?"

"Well, I was just wondering...it seems you don't have any family here at school, I mean, maybe you have parents or the equivalent back home but...maybe you would want to come to our house after school?"

"Oh, Alice, I'm not so sure if I could do that..."

"Oh, please, Madison!! It would mean so much!! To me, and Carlisle and Esme, my parents! It would mean so much to all of us!" I looked towards Edward and she said, "Well, most of us...Oh, pay no attention to him. He's been this way for nearly a century," That shocked me. A century?! But...no it had to have been something that happenned after me. Alice looked at me with pleading eyes.

"Oh alright!" I had never been able to refuse that gaze.

"Thank you!! We'll pick you up after school." After seeing the hesitation in my eyes she said, "You can drive your car, just as long as at least one of us rides woth you so we know you're not bailing. Thanks, Madison, you won't regret it!" And with that, she got up and walked to her next class.

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**EPOV**

I watched as Alice talked to Madison during lunch. Why was she able to make friends so easily? I heard as she agreed to come over after school then under my breath so that my family wouldn't hear I said, "Oh, joy."

I paid no attention to her in biology. She wasn't important. Just another person-vampire, whatever. I skipped my last two classes and drove home in a state of anger.

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**Well, there you have it ! Chapter 4. I think I did alright, but I'm not sure. Too much Bella? Not enough Edward? Too much Alice? Too many memories? Mean ending for not getting more into the story? Lemme know. REVIEWREVIEWREVIEW !! C'mon, I know you can ! Seriously !!**

**Sorry. Just .. a bit frustrated . I'll update asap .**

**LOVELOVELOVE,**

**SYD**


	5. The House

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Oh my god ! You guys are truly amazing ! I post my 4th chapter yesterday , and I get 756 hits ! Plus not to mention as I open my email and see 55 new emails ! ALL from fanfiction !! Wow , I imagined to have a couple more reviews , but 17 ?! You guys rule , and it made my day . Bear with me here , I'm writing this off the top of my head , so this chapter might be a little dry . If it is , criticism is excepted just please don't leave hate reviews ! And if you like it , let me know ! I want to write what YOU will appreciate ! I want to write to please myself , AND to please you .

**So as Forever The Sickest Kids blares in my ear , I shall begin to write ;]**

**DISCLAIMER : Don't own anything .. except a giant iTunes library .. :]**

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**BPOV**

Alice was...persistive to say the least. After the final bell I walked as fast as I could-at human speed-to my car, fully prepared to ditch them. After all, I was already pushing myself? How much more could I take? But of course, no luck. She was there. I should've known she would've seen me ducking out on her. "Madison, if you didn't want to come you should've told me. But once you agreed...well, that's it. Let's go! Esme will love to meet you!" At that I winced. Would my almost-mother recognize me? Would she not like me? Because of my attitude? My clothes? I should've worn something nicer today. Damn.

"Take a left here," Alice said. Oh, I knew that. I'd been to this house too many times to count. I even lived here for the year after my transformation. Couldn't be near humans, because of the whole newborn thing. But I would never tell Alice that. Or any of them for that matter. Especially not _him_.

"Wow, this place is beautiful, Alice!" Esme had touched it up since they got back. It looked gorgeous.

"I'd say thank you, but it's really my mother's work," She said as she flashed me a breathtaking smile.

"Well, I guess I'll have to give her the compliment then, won't I?" I said, as we both laughed. Just then we walked into the house and the whole family, minus one, was waiting for me in the front room. I saw the gorgeous piano in the corner, and it was coated in dust. It looked as though he hadn't touched it in...90 years. I gasped. Everyone looked at me strangely, but I shook it off. "Hello, I'm Madison, Madison Greene. It's lovely to meet you all."

"Hello, I'm Esme, and this is my husband Carlisle. I assume you already know all of my children," I raised my eyebrow at that and she said, "Oh, don't mind Edward, he's been like this for some time. He'll warm up to you eventually."

_I doubt that_, I thought to myself. "It's very nice to meet you. Alice has said many nice things about the two of you. And all of you as well," I added when I realized it could be taken in different ways.

"Emmett, Rosalie, would you two like to give Madison a tour of our home? I believe that would be proper ettiquette," Carlisle said to them as Rose rolled her eyes and Emmett jumped up quite willingly.

They showed me the whole house. Every room, except for one at the end of the hall on the third floor. "Whose room is this?" I asked them, though already fully knowing whose room it was. Just then he walked out of his room.

"If you don't mind I'd rather enjoy some privacy. I don't want to talk to you, nor do I have any interest in seeing you. Thank you, and goodbye," He nearly growled, then slammed the door at all of us.

"He's just crabby, come on, I'm sure Esme would like to talk to you some more," And with one final glance at his door, I walked down the hall with the two of them.

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**RPOV**

Edward was such a crab. I thought he'd finally been getting better. After all, 100 years is a long time for a human...she was probably dead. I knew he had only agreed to come back to Forks in hopes of seeing her one last time. Maybe find her grave. But he's made no attempts to look for her or go to the graveyard. He jsut goes to that meadow. I followed him there once. He was just curledup in a ball, and it looked as though he himself were begging for death. He would never act on it though, for fear of hurting Carlisle or Esme.

You know, I should just find the human girl myself. Maybe that way he would be normal again. I just want my brother back. I miss him. His smile, his piano. The sound of that soft lullaby echoing from the keys. His desire to do anything left, just as we'd left her. Suddenly and with no goodbyes. Sometimes I regret it, but it was for the best.

Wasn't it?

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**EmPOV**

Madison was so much like Bella it was insane. I mean, she was nothing like her and yet...it was the same. Maybe it would be history repeating itself. No, it would only count for something if it was really Bella, and we all knew that wasn't possible. Bella was either dead or living a happy life.

THinking of her dead gave me the chills. She was happy somewhere. With a family and children and a dog, and...what Ed wanted her to have. She would have it. If she didn't, that wasn't fair. But I needed to know.

She was walking down the stairs in front of me and I decided to take a chance. "Bella?"

And she turned around.

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**Nice cliffy? Mean cliffy? Should I add in other characters POV's ? Let me know, because I'm SURE you know what to do ! Just clicky that little button and... Yay !! Thanks guys !!**

**LOVELOVELOVE,**

**SYD**


	6. What Really Happenned

**Ok , I never intended to be that mean with a cliffy . I just needed to compose myself , because well , I knew I was going to do that , I just didn't know what would happen after . I have it all in my mind , though . I'm going to try and be nicer with cliffy's ,. but , I just love them ! THey're so amazing , so I jsut had to do that ! lol . I truly am sorry .**

**Now as All Time Low's "lost" album ((The Party Scene)) blares in my ears , I shall begin to write . Once again xD**

**DISCLAIMER : Still Don't own anything . Seriously . If I did I would be writing a book . But since I suck at coming up with my own storyline .. I'm on this handy website . If I was Stephenie Meyer , why would I be on fanfiction . Ask yourself THAT !! :]**

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RECAP : "Bella?" And she turned around.

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**EPOV**

What in the world? Madison could _not_ be Bella, no matter what Emmett's thoughts said. Madison was the exact opposite of my Bella. How dare he play this sort of prank on me? Doesn't he know how much that hurts?!

Oh wait, he doesn't. He's never had to live without his Rosalie. He wouldn't know how much this hurts me.

_Did I just hear Emmett speaking of Bella?_ thought Carlisle

_WHAT ABOUT BELLA?! HE KNOWS WE CAN'T SAY HER NAME?! Wait...IS BELLA IN THE HOUSE?! _Alice a little overexcited as usual, but I was reacting in about the same way. I ran as fast as I could out of my room and to the landing where my family was heading and Madison and Emmett were standing.

Madison merely glared at me with a look of rage so great it could only be described as hatred. What had I ever done to her? Other than be a tad rude? It's not like she was any nicer to me.

"What's all this talk about Bella. She's not here. She's living her life. A happy life, and you don't need to rub that in my face. Either of you," I said in the rudest tone I had ever heard come off my lips.

"Oh, Bella? That human girl that you had been infatuated with, what? 90 years ago?"

"How do you know who she is?"

"Oh, I know more than just who she is. You know, it's a shame. Maybe had you not left, she'd still be here today."

"Well of course she'd still be here, but that's beside the poi-" Suddenly it dawned on me, "Wait...you're not talking about here-with us-you're...you're talking about...NO SHE'S ALIVE!"

"Well, you can go ahead and tell yourself that. But if you want to know what really happenned..."

"W-w-what h-hap-penned?" Alice asked.

"Some 80-odd years ago she just dissapeared. It was all over the news. '_Daughter of Police Chief Missing' 'Police have no new leads as to the dissapearance of Isabella Swan'_ and then later '_Body of Isabella Swan, yet to be discovered'. _They buried her without a body you know. She was thought to have been kidnapped. Maybe, mauled by a bear? Drowned? Sucked dry?" She said with an evil smile.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER?!"

"Oh, I didn't do anything to her. Merely witnessed her in her zombie-like state. Watched as once you left, she wouldn't eat or drink. Never laughed, or smiled. Couldn't do anything for fear something might remind her of you. Nearly killed Charlie, it did. Listening to her screaming every night. Watching the littlest things make her start crying. Then one day she just dissapeared. It's rumored she jumped off that cliff in La Push. Maybe she was, dare I say, 'La Push-ed'? No? Well, I thought it was funny. Anyways, they never did find her. Just thought you might like to know what happened to the girl you lied to for 8 months, then once you grew tired of her, left. Her whole family left. The future she had wanted. Pity she actually wanted it, but, had you loved her like you said you did, wouldn't you have done anything for her, Edward? Whatever it took to be with her...forever? But no...you didn't want her. Just wanted some 'distractions'. Hope you had a good time pursuing those, while the girl you supposedly loved, was dying right in front of everyone. Yet no one had cared enough to pay any attention until it was too late. A little bit like you, I would say."

I just stared at her. Perhaps the most tormented expression I had ever worn was plastered on my face. I couldn't believe that Bella-my Bella, had died. Died because of me. If I had been there...but I wasn't there. You could drive yourself crazy with if's and I don't need any more insanity. I already have plenty to go around.

"How...How could you say I didn't love her? How could you say that I didn't want to be with her forever? I left her for her safety...I was so stupid..."

I let out a small sob. No, I couldn't have my family see me like this. I went to my room, jumped out the window and ran to the meadow. Our meadow.

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**BPOV**

Edward suddenly appeared with quite the look of rage on his face. I knew what I had to do then. I had to know exactly how much he had hurt her. I knew the second he spoke those words.

"What's all this talk about Bella. She's not here. She's living her life. A happy life, and you don't need to rub that in my face. Either of you," He said it with such an anger, I was almost afraid to say what I was about to say next. Almost.

"Oh, Bella? That human girl that you had been infatuated with, what? 90 years ago?"

"How do you know who she is?"

"Oh, I know more than just who she is. You know, it's a shame. Maybe had you not left, she'd still be here today."

"Well of course she'd still be here, but that's beside the poi-" He seemed to understand what I meant just then, "Wait...you're not talking about here-with us-you're...you're talking about...NO SHE'S ALIVE!"

"Well, you can go ahead and tell yourself that. But if you want to know what really happenned..."

"W-w-what h-hap-penned?" Alice asked.

"Some 80-odd years ago she just dissapeared. It was all over the news. '_Daughter of Police Chief Missing' 'Police have no new leads as to the dissapearance of Isabella Swan'_ and then later '_Body of Isabella Swan, yet to be discovered'. _They buried her without a body you know. She was thought to have been kidnapped. Maybe, mauled by a bear? Drowned? Sucked dry?" I said with the evilist smile I could manage.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER?!"

I just babbled on about what had happenned to her-me, without really hearing myself. I didn't want to relive that. It would be too painful.

Edward looked at me with an expression so painful, so tormented, this was the face of a man that would be burning at the stake.

"How...How could you say I didn't love her? How could you say that I didn't want to be with her forever? I left her for her safety...I was so stupid..."

And with that, he left. But, he still loved me-her? How? He said he never wanted me! He couldn't...no he didn't. It was crazy. I'm so stupid for even trying to believe him again. Ughh. I need some air. So I excused myself and ran straight for the meadow. I couldn't imagine any other place to be right now.

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**Love it? Hate it? PLEASE LET ME KNOW!! It won't take that long, I promise you!! Just click that button, right some comments, let me kknow what would make it better and I'll try to incorporate that in!! I'll have the next chap up as soon as I can!**

**LOVELOVELOVE,**

**SYD**


	7. The Life and Times

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**

Ok , well I know, 3 chaps in one day .. not exactly normal, and I should be stretching this out , but I intend to make this very complex and longer . I won't tell you my exact plans , but YES they will eventually find out that she is Bella . I won't say when , but what kind of story would this be if they never find out ? Not one that I would enjoy reading , therefore would not enjoy writing .

**All Time Low is really inspiring me to persevere . Listen to their song "Stay Awake" , you'll want to do everything you can to be the best . THANK YOU ALEX GASKARTH , JACK BARAKAT , RIAN DAWSON , AND ZACH MERRICK FOR BEING EXTREMLY INSPIRATIONAL !! ((sorry lol , just had to put it out there ;]))**

**avdreader: As you mention it , I wasn't paying much attention to the way it was set up . I see now that , yes , Jasper was there , but as I see it , Edward still can't read her mind . I think what I'm going to do is give her ability(s) a bit of attention . So , that'll be explained in this chapter . Thanks for pointing that out , or I might not have caught it until I was finished writing the story !! I officially award you good reader of the day !! Lol . :P :]**

**Disclaimer: No , I still don't own Twilight . Sorry , it sucks I know . But , hey , look on the bright side ! I do own a very large bubble gum wrapper collection !! *sarcasm noted***

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**BPOV**

I feel bad about leaving them there, upset. But not bad enough to turn back. I drew up to the meadow about the same time I realized that I was not alone. Laying in the meadow, right in the middle, where I had sat 90 years before, was Edward. In all his angelic perfection, he truly looked as gorgeous as he had the first time I'd ever seen him. An angel with wings intact would be less conspicuous than the gorgeous creature before me.

"What do you want? To torment me some more? Because that's not possible. You can't torment me any more than I do myself."

"No, I came to apologize, well...no. That's not true. I came to be alone. It hurts me to remember that. She was a great girl. An angel indeed. But she fell that day, you know. When you left, she was never the same again. Then when Victoria chanced upon her..."

"Please don't give me the details. That's all I need to know. Where is her grave?"

"Jacksonville. With her mother."

"Oh. I would've thought Charlie would've wanted her buried here...in Forks, I mean."

"He did. The cliff where she was last seen is a bit of a monument to her. Supposedly she was the last one to see the wolves. Some say they saw her kill the last one left. I don't think so, though. Actually, I know she didn't kill him. He was her best friend...after Alice of course. Jacob was his name. I don't know where he is now, but last I heard he was traveling the world trying to wipe out the vampire race. Especially the vegetarians. Like you and your family. But be good, because he owes me a favor, and I can keep your family safe," I said, not quite sure why I did. Jacob was my best friend, so he wouldn't kill me, and if my allegiance was to the Cullens, well, he wouldn't kill them either. But it was I who owed him for saving my life. So only half that statement was true.

He looked at me and said, "You would really do that for us? Save us at your expense? What have we done for you? Especially me. If anyone, it's I that deserves to die."

"You meant well that day. I see that now. Had you just told her, well maybe she would've accepted it easier. But I don't think it's too late to save yourself from your lies. To save yourself, so one day, maybe you'll be with her again. Maybe."

"Madison? Can I ask you something? How did you know her? Did you even really or is this what you've heard from the Jacob boy?"

I didn't know what to say to that so I just tried my luck. It held. I said, "I saw this from Black. He never meant to tell me any of it, but he did."

"How?"

"It's part of my ability. My gift. You see, when I was human I had a talent of getting...well, getting a lot of what I wanted. So my gift is that. If I want a certain ability, it's mine. With Jacob, I used a persuasion gift. Around you and your brother, Jasper, I use a shield. Neither of you know what really goes on inside my mind. For you-my thoughts, for Jasper-my emotions. I block people out because, well, you wouldn't want to hear my thoughts," At that I winced because it was dangerously close to what I had once told him on the night at La Bella Italia.

Funny how I still remember. He told me that human memories fade. My mind was like a sieve. An others have told me that once you're a vampire, you don't necessarily remember your human memories as well. Heck, I couldn't even remember my mother's name. My father, I only knew because it would be important to my story. But otherwise...I drew a blank with everything. Except Edward. Every moment with him was as clear as if it had been two seconds ago, rather than 90 years.

That scared me a little. But I wouldn't let it interfere wiht this show I was putting on in front of him. "So...you can do anything you want? With your abilities? Only mental abilities...or..."

"You know, I'm not exactly sure. Maybe it works differently for physical abilities. I'm not sure. I'll have to test it sometime."

"Yeah. Well, it was nice getting to know you. Sorry I've been so rude to you. Normally I wouldn't even dream of being rude to a lady, but...it's just...and I know this is no excuse, but you remind me of her. Bella that is. The way you talk...the way you smell..." He closed his eyes and smiled a little at this, "but, I've still been incredibly rude and I apologize for my actions. Now, if you don't mind, I would like to be alone."

"It's alright, I was going to leave soon anyways. You just give off a depressing aura...you know? Don't worry, she would want you to be happy. I know that. So be as happy as you can...without her that is."

And with that, I turned and headed home.

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**EPOV**

She was so like Bella it was scary. That conversation made me a little wary. Was she telling the truth? Who was she, anyways? To be so calm around such a presence as mine? No one was ever able to be that calm around me anymore. I was too mean for that. But she seemed right at home. It put me on edge.

But surely I would recognize her if she was my Bella. It wasn't possible, anyways. My Bella wasn't that...scary. But then again, she wasn't my Bella anymore. I will never have my Bella back again.

I had a sudden urge to go to Jacksonville.

But that would mean leaving the mystery that was Madison Greene. And I couldn't leave until I figured her out, now could I? It just wasn't worth the risk. And leaving without figuring her out was too scary. It was the first time I had been afraid since Bella. Bella had always made me afraid. That she would run screaming when she found out more about vampires. That she would get hurt. That she would die at the hands of a sadistic vampire named James. That she wouldn't want me and tell me to go in that hospital. That she would die at the hands of my brother. That she wouldn't accept the fact that I was leaving. That I would have to lie for hours and hours. That she believed me. That she had moved on.

And now there was Madison. An entirely new entity. I was scared because of her. That she might kill me, that she would leave before I figured her out, that she would give more information of Bella that would kill me, that I was actually interedted in something for the first time since Bella. It was scary. Something I didn't enjoy. I needed time to think.

I needed to hunt.

That would take my mind off the elusive, frightening, bitchy woman that was Madison.

She was just like Bella and nothing like her at the exact same time.

I ran off contemplating what I would do about the girl.

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**Okay, officially my last chapter for the day. I loved writing Edward's POV this time. I just loved reliving Twilight in all the ways he was afraid, and comparing Bella and the new Bella. It was SO much fun ! Try it ! That is your exercise for the day ! COmpare Madison and Bella, or Bella and new Bella, as it is, and post it for me, or not! I want to know your feedback, what you got from this, everything ! Thanks guys ! Reviewreviewreview!!! Thanks for sticking with me and Bella for these scary, topsy-turvy first 7 chapters !! Bear with me, this is my first story, so it might stray from the original topic in some places, but, hey, I'm trying! Thanks guys!**

**LOVELOVELOVE,**

**SYD**


	8. Lullabies

**Well , I'm in a cheerful mood today . I don't know why , I just am . :] Well here's chapter 8 !!**

**All Time Low is fantastic ! ((so is The Maine , but I always jummp up and dance and sing to all their songs , so I can't really listen to them while writing xD)) Put Up Or Shut Up is blaring in my ears , my favorite 3 songs on it : Coffee Shop Soundtrack , Break Out! Break Out! , and Jasey Rae **

**DISCLAIMER : Just please yourself with one on another page . They're everywhere so I decided to skip today's and leave you this lazy note xD .**

**So without further ado ..**

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**BPOV**

I got dressed for school in a daze. All night, all I could think about was those moments with Edward, replaying them in my head, over and over. I just couldn't let him go. Not even enough to go do something productive like hunt. I needed it, desperatly, and yet, I couldn't pull myself away from thoughts of him. I couldn't be falling for him again, could I? He left me! Why would I want to be with him?!

But I did. I wanted to be with him more and more with each passing second. He wouldn't have to be careful with me anymore. After all, I was unbreakable.

But if he didn't want me then, what makes me think he would want me now. No matter what he tells me now, I know that what he said was the truth. After all, I was just human. What could possibly hold him to me? Nothing. That's what. I was weak, and human, and...I was holding him back from his "distractions". If I fell for him again, he was sure to hurt me. He would keep hurting me until I understood that it was neer truly meant to be.

The hole in my chest ripped open. It was almost as bad as those first few months. Almost. As I pulled up to the school, I realized that I was never going to get better unless I stopped clinging to the past. I needed to stay in the present and not hold grudges for what happenned in the past. You know what they say.

"_Yesterday is the past, it's history. Tomorrow's the future, a mystery. But today is a gift. That's why they call it the present._"

You're supposed to live life with no regrets. Lately I've been regretting a lot. I've spent the past 90 years praying that I could just die. All because, well, the love of my life dumped me. But here I was, the same small town as him, and he was wuite obviously missing me as much as I missed him. I should talk to him...or not.

"Bella."

I didn't dare turn around.

"Bella, I know it's you. Why didn't you just tell me? I thought I was your best friend. Practicaly sisters."

"You are, we are. It's just...you left me, Alice. What promise did I have that you wouldn't do it again? I can't live through 90 more years of that kind of pain, again. It hurt when you left. Hurt bad. And you never did anything to contact me. To tr and find me. I left traces all over the country. You had to have been at one of the 70 some places I've lived in in the past 90 years. I didn't go to high school each time. It depended whether or not I liked the city," I added when she looked at me funny when I said 70.

"Are you telling me...you've been...all alone for...90 years? Because of us? He is soo going to pay."

"No he won't, Alice, because you won't tell him. I'm still Madison Greene. For all intensive purposes."

"Oh Bella...what did he do to you?"

"He broke me. I haven't been the same since that day. And I never will be. I'm not Bella anymore. She really did die that day. Now I am whoever I choose to be."

Just then Emmett ran up behind me and yelled, "BELLA!!" Causing me to drop all of my books. Including my journal. That held everthing I'd been feeling right when he left. I had grabbed the wrong one this morning. It fell open to possibly the most embarrassing page.

"_Make it a sweet, sweet goodbye - it could be for the last time and it's not right.  
"Don't let yourself get in over your head," he said.  
Alone and far from home we'll find you..._

_Dead - Like a candle you burned out;  
Spill the wax over the spaces left in place of angry words.  
Scream - To be heard, like you needed any more attention;  
Throw the bottle, break the door, and disappear._

_Sing me to sleep, I'll see you in my dreams, waiting to say, "I miss you. I'm so sorry."  
Forever's never seemed so long as when you're not around it's like a piece of me is missing.  
I could have learned so much from you but what's left now?  
Don't you realize you brought this family a world of pain?  
Can't you see there could have been a happy ending we let go?_

_Sing me to sleep, I'll see you in my dreams, waiting to say, "I miss you. I'm so sorry."_

_Sing me to sleep (You've taken so much with you...)  
I'll see you in my dreams, (But left the worst with me...),  
Waiting to say, "I miss you. I'm so sorry."  
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry._"

"You...wrote...this?"

"Yes. Now if you don't mind, I'll take that back. Oh, and Emmett, Bella's dead. My name is Madison now. I have to get to class."

And with that I strode off to first period.

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**APOV**

Had we really hurt her that much? That poem-song-whatever it was...was incredibly...different. Not something the Bella I knew would have even dreamed of writing. She wasn't that dark.

Was that the effect we had had? That he had made? What had he really told her in that forest that broke her so much? I thought he was going to stick to the truth. So why was she hurt so much? Why was she so bitter?

Was my best friend really dead as she had put it? She couldn't be. Bella was too strong to let that happen. She wasn't dead, she was just hiding. She would resurface soon enough. She had to.

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**What did you think? Good ? Bad ? Needs work ? You know how to let me know !! Just hit that little button that says review !! Please guys? I have over a thousand hits, and about 24 reviews. I know you can do better than that ! **

**_Note: Song used : Lullabies by All Time Low. Lyrics written by Alex William Gaskarth _**

**LOVELOVELOVE,**

**SYD**


	9. Dear Readers

**DEAR READERS !!**

** School is starting soon , so I may not have time to work on this story for a little bit . Especially considering I'm taking a college course , and only going into the 8th grade . That sure will take up a bunch of my time . But I do want to be working on some OneShots for some of my readers . Plus I will Beta for someone , if you want . I don't want to get too busy , so just put up a review or something and let me know if you want me to Beta for what story and so on .**

**I feel bad about taking time away from my story , especially because I became so attached , but I have to if I'm going to be getting the straight A's that I need . So I apologize , but please don't be expecting another chapter up soon . I'll try to update , but if I'm being honest , it could take awhile .**

** On a lighter note-I want to write some easy OneShots where I don't have to stay true to a plot , or this giant story unfolding in my head . So what I'm going to do is ask you all that want a OneShot to review . The 5 BEST reviews will get a OneShot , based on whatever little plot line (Twilight-related since I'm only good at that xD) you want , I'll write it , and post it . I want to write more , but I'm not very creative with coming up with ideas , so if someone else has an idea , leave as nice a review as you can , or use criticism (constructive , please) , or just leave a kick-butt review , and I'll write a OneShot for you . **

** If someone wants me to Beta , just leave the review asking for it (or PM me , I'm not really sure , whichever is easier for you) . Tell me exactly which story , give me the EXACT details , and I'll do what you want me to do ! **

** That's all I'm going to say in the interest of leaving this short so ..**

**LOVELOVELOVE ,**

**SYD**


	10. Graveyard Nightmares

**Okay, so it's been awhile, (and I just realized that I start most of my a/n's with "Okay.." lol) Honestly, I wasn't intending for them to find out so soon, and I am a tad bit out of practice, so, sorry if this chap sucks.. lemme know!! Lol.**

**The Maine playing MUCH too loud ;] .. My fav song by them is "Daisy".. But all of Can't Stop, Won't Stop, and their EP's are playing, so lol. If you've heard of them, lemme know what your fav song is!!**

**DISCLAIMER : I don't own Twilight. And it's a real shame.**

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**BPOV**

Honestly, I'm surprised Alice was smart enough to realize who I was so quickly. I just pray she doesn't tell Edward. I mean, I don't think I'd ever be able to live with that. Would they just leave like they did before? Or would he say he loved me? I don't know which would hurt more. But I do know that the hole in my chest is ripped open, much more than ever before. This is too hurtful. Ugh. I know! I'm going to go visit my grave.. Maybe that will cheer me up. Who am I kidding? It's worth a shot anyway.

When I got to the graveyard, I saw some names that looked familiar, but I had no idea why. _Tyler Crowley, Eric Yorkie, Jessica Stanley, _etc. Who were these people? Then I saw my grave. It wasn't all that big, or flashy or anything. It looked like any normal headstone. The inscription read a line from one of my favorite songs- "We both lost our minds, they're nowhere to be found." I'm glad Charlie had that inscribed. It's perfect. Then I saw Charlie's grave. His death read 6 years after mine. Poor Charlie! Was it me? Did my past finally catch up to him?

I felt awful. Then someone cleared their throat from behind me. I nearly screamed. I turned to see who it was. Something about his russet colored skin, deep black eyes, and silky black hair seemed familiar. Then I finally matched a name to that face.

Jacob Black.

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**JakePOV**

There was someone standing in front of Charlie and Bella's graves. She reeked. Obviously a vamp. I had to take her out. It was my responsibilty. But first.. I cleared my throat. She turned around and her eyes were golden. Certainly a contrast against her snow white skin and raven black hair. Yet, there was something familiar about that face, about the way she had turned, about, well, about _her_.

She looked at me in a cross between pain and astonishment. "Jake?" she whispered.

And then all of sudden she was there with her arms wrapped around me, her body heaving sobs, and eyes that would never shed a tear. I was legitamatly scared for my life. A vampire was hugging me. I wrinkled my nose in disgust. Then I realized that under that icy, much too sweet smell was something else.

I recognized it almost instantly. "Bells?" I said so softly even I could barely hear it.

She nodded. "Oh my god! Bella! I thought you were dead! I thought that vampire killed you! I've been going crazy my whole life trying to avenge you. I couldn't find the Cullens anywhere, and I thought maybe they were hiding. After all, they were the cause of-"

She cut me off, "Jake. I missed you too. But they're here. In Forks. They came back right around the same time I did. I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but they're back, and healthy as ever."

Shit, was all I could think. And the way Bella spoke of them.. I had to ask, "You're.. You're not.. Back with.. With him, are you?"

She just sobbed harder. She shook her head no, and then untangled herself from my grasp. "I should be going, Jake. It was really good to see you, but I shouldn't be here in the first place. I'm sure Alice is looking for me. I'm really sorry. Friends forever and ever."

And then she was gone. I walked over, sat down in front of her grave, and mourned for the loss of my friend. She was one of them now. And that was all.

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**BPOV**

As I ran from the graveyard, I cried. I couldn't stop. I willied for tears to come from my eyes, but of course, none ever came. I tried to pull out my hair, but it was practically welded to my head. I ran for the ocean. I ran as far as my legs would take me. When I got to the water, I threw myself out to sea, with no intentions of coming back. Maybe I could change my name and appearance again. I could start over without the Cullens. My life didn't have to be this hard! But I'm a masochist, so of course, I stayed.

I just sat underwater for a long time. I don't know how long. An hour? Two? A day? A week? A month? A year? A millenia? I couldn't have cared less. Suddenly there was a hand pulling me out of the water. Of course it was Alice. She would have seen me, and decided to come get me. Of course. But what could I do? She wouldn't have let up, and she was going to make me explain myself. What could I say? "I got lost, and ended up at the bottom of the ocean?" I mean, really. Oh god, here it comes.

"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?! YOU JUST DIVE INTO THE OCEAN, AND DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT WHO MIGHT SEE?! ABOUT WHO MIGHT MAKE A PHONCE CALL TO 911 WHEN YOU DON'T COME UP FOR AIR FOR 5 HOURS?! THEY THOUGHT YOU KILLED YOURSELF! EDWARD WAS WORRIED SICK WHEN HE SAW YOU MOTIONLESS DOWN HERE! DON'T YOU KNOW THE PAIN YOU CAUSED HIM THE PAST 5 HOURS?! I CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE YOU WOULD DO THAT TO ED-.. Never mind.."

"Did you just say.. Edward? That he was worried sick?" I couldn't believe it.. But, he didn't love me.. So?

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Alice, I heard what you said. Now would you mind explaining it to me?"

"I- He- Uhmm.."

She was stuttering. Ugh. What was I supposed to do with this information?

"DON'T TRY TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT!"

Oh my god, she really is insane. I just burst out laughing.

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**Okay, (there it is again xD) so lemme know what you think! Much appreciated! Sorry for all the spelling errors I've been making. I'm too lazy to fix 'em, so just pretend they're not even there. I really hope you enjoyed this, it was difficult to write. **

**Note- The line for Bella's headstone was from Kiss And Sell by The Maine. LOVE!! Lol**

**Remember kids: First fights turn into sex!! (I love John Cornelius O'Callaghan!! Lol)**

**LOVELOVELOVE,**

**SYD**


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